Monday, 7 July 2014

*TUMBLEWEED*



Feels a bit like that round here, doesn't it? I can't believe it's been over a year since I posted on here. I feel a bit like an imposter on my own blog! What's that all about? Weird.

Well, it has been a year, and what a hell of a year it's been. If you read my other blog then you'll know that sadly my little brother never did make it home from the hospital after his battle with Pneumonia. His body just wasn't strong enough to fight it (one of the issues his Downs Syndrome caused was a weaken heart and small airways). He passed away June 16th last year.

Coming so soon (a little over a year) after the loss of my Mum Ste's death really hit me hard. At first I just battled on through with little time given to myself to grieve. Ultimately that did me no favours in the long run and eventually things just caught up with me and I just had to give up for a little while and let all the plates stop spinning.

It had a huge impact on my time in the dojo (which became pretty much non-existent after a while).

I did manage to make it back to training for a few weeks before Christmas last year then my husband's work schedule had a dramatic change. He was working much further away from home and much longer hours meaning he was rarely back in the house before 8pm (thereby not giving me time to get to the dojo because of the kids).

I did manage to make it to the Dojo for a multi-disciplinary event in April. Other than that I can probably count without taking my shoes off the number of times I've set foot in the dojo this past year.

How did that happen?

How did I become "that person"?

You know, the one who trains years to be a black belt and then never dons the thing again. I really didn't want for that to be me.

So, one thing or another has stuck it's stupid spanner in the working of my training for the past year. Between bereavement and depression and injury (still struggling with my stupid decrepit knees and seem to be sporting some nice RSI/Carpal tunnel action in my right wrist) and work schedules and downright lazy-arsedness I've been nothing short of hopeless. One of my favourite sayings in the past has been "Excuses are like arseholes....everyone's got one". At the moment it seems I've got more arseholes than a Westboro Baptist revival!

Time to give myself a kick up the proverbial. I need motivation. I need commitment. I need conviction. I need to get myself back in the dojo before I've forgotten everything I spent 4.5 years cramming into my tiny noggin!

Senior class is 7.30 today. Ewan has a party till 7.30. Kendo is coming to relieve me from party duty early so I can get to class. I will make this work!

Once more into the karate tinted breech!

TTFN


1 comment:

  1. We've missed you, Marie! Sorry for your losses and hope you can get back to training soon.

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