When Life Kicks You In The Teeth.

For all of our martial arts training, there really is no defense against those times when life chooses to kick you in the teeth!

We've had one of those moments around here lately. Sadly my Mum passed away suddenly on 14th February. She went from being in reasonably good health to not being with us any more in the space of around 36 hours. It was quite the rollercoaster (one I definitely wouldn't pay to ride again!) and completely knocked me for six.

As well as dealing with the loss of Mum on an emotional level there have also been a lot of changes in terms of extra responsibilites coming my way -  dealing with issues regarding my younger brother who is profoundly disabled and still lives at home, assisting with financial organisation/ practical arrangements for my Dad etc.

In the beginning I did try to just maintain everything as it was. I was clearly kidding myself. I made the mistake of being imminently practical and not really allowing time for my own grief. I learnt that lesson the hard way and eventually ended up having a week off sick from work and from all other responsibilities (including karate training and assisting at classes).

When I finally felt my head was back together enough to go back to training I was struck down with THE most appalling back and neck problems. I haven't done any injury to my back, I suspect a lot of it has to do with maintaining a level of tension for so long (I tend to carry my anxiety in my neck, shoulders and back when I am dealing with stress.

So, in terms of training I'm pretty much feeling like I've taken about 4000 steps backwards. I've gotten to the point where I've been absent from it for so long that finding the motivation to go back becomes increasingly more difficult. I feel it's really difficult for me to make a commitment to the assisting side of things when I still don't know some days if I'll be able to get up and function for even the simplest of tasks.

I have already asked to lessen my teaching commitments to one class per week which I think will be a huge help in terms of balancing everything that's going on. I just need to muster up the motivation, and I suppose the courage, to get back on the metaphorical horse.

Classes are on a break over the Easter period so providing my back has improved I will be back to it on the Saturday after Easter. I just hope I haven't forgotten everything I've learnt! LOL

TTFN

Welcome to Hell. We hope you enjoy your stay!

I graded for 1st kyu-ho yesterday (black tip on brown belt). Far and away the worse grading experience of my karate journey so far. I'd had a very broken nights sleep the night before (if you cobbled together all the snippets of actual shut eye I'd manage it might total about 4 hours) with my little boy who is poorly with an ear infection. Coupled with other issues I've had with my back this week (a recurrance of sciatica) it was the first time I have felt so completely unprepared (both mentally and physically) at the start of a grading.

Beginning the session with already wavering confidence my performance was definitely affected. I was faced with questions I wasn't expecting (despite knowing to expect the unexpected on grading day) and by the end of the 2 hour session I was so tired that I couldn't even muster the brain power to implement the number 1 rule of defense......get out of the goddamn way!!

I will blog more about the gory details when I've had more time to think about the experience and assess what was good and what went wrong, and perhaps more importantly how I dealt with what went wrong. Not my finest karate hour.

If I had to sum up how I'm feeling about the whole experience right now I'd have to go with "irrationally over-emotional" to the point where thinking about parts of it has almost reduced me to tears even today.

I suspect I need more sleep (another broken night last night has not aided the catch up) and a little more time to be able to think about the experience more rationally and less emotionally. Thankfully, for my senior instructor it was very much a case of a fact finding mission to assess where I am up to in terms of where to begin with preparation for 1st Kyu and ultimately Shodan. That at least means that there will be tangible and constructive outcomes from the process allowing me to work on my weak areas.

When I've had more time to process 2 hours of hell I'll try to get into more sensible analysis.

In the meantime. TTFN.

Playing Uke

Yesterday was Black Belt grading day at the Isami Ryu dojo. Not mine (thankfully! LOL).

Two of my fellow karateka were grading, Keith for his Shodan and Sensei Chrissy (who I assist in the Little Dragon's class) for her 3rd Dan.

I was invited to attend and participate (as uke) in the grading and it was an amazing experience. Particulary pertinent to me as it was my first experience of a black belt grading and it was great to see an example of what I will be facing then the time comes for mine.

It was a tough experience for sure. Over an hour and a half of fitness/stamina training including all sorts of hideous things like tricep dips (yuk!) and wide arm push ups and planks (hate those... but actually managed to hold them for the alloted time so was quite proud of myself!) and sit ups of a million incarnations and pad drills and kick drills and combinations (both familiar ones and ones set by instructors from other clubs which weren't at all familiar). And that was just the beginning!

I was seriously flagging at a few points but managed to keep hydrated and fuelled (with the help of some carb-gels... BEST. INVENTION. EVER! LOL) and completed everything that was asked of me.

The rest of the grading is something of a blur! When DH asked me later what we'd done I would talk through bits and kept forgetting stuff and ten minutes later would be like... oh, yeah and we also did......X, Y, Z.  There was randori work (starting back to back and remaining on your knees while you attempt to pin your opponents shoulders), the candidates doing escapes from various grabs. Some Aiki-Jitsu work involving lots of continuation of movements and some lovely elbow locks/arm bars (my left arm is extremely sore this morning from being somewhat hyper-extended in the excitement of an arm bar! LOL).

There was more pad work based on one of the non-club combinations given by the panel members (which I really enjoyed, even though it was hard work remembering the combination (very strange getting to do a headbutt, we don't ordinarily use them in our style). Then there was a huge amount of taisabaki (forms based on a set array of attack/angles). I ended up in the role of uke for a considerable number of those (which probably explains why every inch of my body is vying for the "most painful appendage award" this morning.)

Thankfully after making it through all of that us non-grading participants got to sit down for a while with the candidates did kata and their presentations. I don't think I've ever been so glad of a sit down and a banana snack as I was at the moment. Keith gave an excellent presentation on Kata Bassai Dai including a really interesting take on the bunkai for the kata. Chrissy presented Kata Hangetsu with excellent bunkai and a really well thought out weapons section with Sai versus 4 other attacking weapons (Jo, Bo, Sword and Tonfa). They certainly set the bar high in terms of presenation work. I've already got my thinking cap on over what I might do for my required presentation!

Keith and Chrissy both performed amazingly and accordingly they were both successfully awarded their grades. They certainly did us proud.

In terms of the learning curve for me I was very pleased that I managed to keep up with all of the fitness requirements. That tells me at least that even at this point my fitness is good enough to make it through such a long stint of fitness testing.  I have plenty of time to work on improving my fitness which can only get better. As to whether I would have been able to function enough to perform kata and a presenation to a coherent standard? I think I might have been hard pressed to form a coherent sentance yesterday, never mind present and then face questions from a panel.  Definitely an incentive to improve your fitness if nothing else!


TTFN

Your (Not-So) Flexible Friend.

So, here I am again after a week back in the karate fold. I've had a much more positive attitude towards my training this week which was clearly evident to my Shihan and my fellow karateka. Definitely got my head back in the karate zone. Phew!

Now I'm back to full steam I'm incredibly conscious of the fact that I really need to be stepping up my game now. Knocking on the door of 1st Kyu I need to make sure that I'm focusing on doing the absolute best I can with the tools I've been given.

Following on from my post last week about confronting your weakness I've decided that I'm going to take a look at the areas of my training that really need work and implement some stragegies to improve them.

Perhaps the biggest weakness that I omitted from the list in the last post is FLEXIBILITY, or rather lack thereof.

As a young child (up the age of 10 or so) I was quite a sporty individual. I took 4 gymnastics classes a week, was on the squad for the gymnastics club, I ran, I swam and generally had a good level of fitness and flexibility.

Around age 11 (or there abouts, I not sure exactly how old I was but I recall it was around the time I started Secondary School) I had a somewhat  ridiculously stupid accident at a local park. It involved one of those old-fashioned A-frame log built slides that were really popular in kid's playground in the 80s... like this one (sorry for the awful photo, its the only one I could find!)... do you remember them?

Sitting on the top of the wooden frame (not on the metal bit) as we had want to do at that age I was nudged off by another person sitting next to me and slid down the steep side (where the steps were) and landed on the bottom of my back. Cue a bruise coccyx (youch!) and many months of pain. The  result of this childhood stupidity was that I had trouble bending at the waist for a very long time which ultimately led to very short hamstrings (as well as I think being a contributing factor to ongoing back problems I've suffered as an adult).

In terms of my karate journey, short hamstrings make for painful stretching sessions and pretty crubbish kicks. Not so much of an issue for front and side kicks but for round kicks I find that I can't get enough rotation on my hip (my pelvis doesn't tilt very well) to get a good kick in and for crescent kicks I struggle with getting any height (I just don't stretch that far!).

A little while ago I purchased this book:

Unfortunately apart from a brief look through and an attempt to formula a stretching plan when I first purchased it it's mostly been languishing on the bookshelf for months. I've recently dragged it down again and I'm hoping to put together a plan that will improve my all over flexibility as well as more specifically my hamstrings. Hopefully it will mean an improvement in my kicks (as well as my other kihon in terms of hip rotation) and might even help with my recurrant back problems.

So, any stretching tips from all you martial arts bloggers out there? All ideas gratefully received.

TTFN



Like Boiling Water.

Let’s begin with the words of a Karate Master. Number 11 in Gichin Funakoshi’s “Twenty Guiding Principles of Karate”:

Karate wa yu no goto shi taezu natsudo wo ataezareba moto no mizu ni kaeru. Karate is like boiling water. If not given heat, it will go cold.

 My karate (and indeed the rest of my fitness in general) has definitely been off the boil of late.  The last week or so I’ve come to the scary realization that my “I’ll just have a few days of not doing much/not eating well/not going to the gym” has very quickly stretched into months. How frighteningly easy it is to slip back into old habits. Fortunately, an awareness of being back into old habits means a decision that things need to get back on track. I need to get back on the boil. I didn’t work hard for 2 years to shed 35lbs just to let it slowly drift back on again.

The difficulty is working out how to get the heat back on. After a bit of self-reflection I know that I’m guilty of happily working on the things that I know I can do. I like the comfort zone. It’s…..well… comfortable.  Mindfully though, I know that the comfort zone isn’t what will generate the heat needed to boil my metaphorical karate water.

 I’m reminded of this post over atKaratebyJesse.com where Jesse talks about karate zones:

The Comfort Zone

The Learning Zone

The Panic Zone

(a good read if you have a few minutes).

Basically I know I need to get my backside out of my comfort zone and into my learning zone, but how to do that?

Ultimately I think it begins with confronting your weaknesses. If you continue in your comfort zone only working at what you’re good at you’re only going to get better at what you’re good at. But it’s hardly a challenge, not enough energy to bring things to that boil.

Stepping out of the comfort zone, looking at your weaknesses, braving the scary waters of what you’re not good at. That’s what will bring the energy, the heat needed to get your karate bubbling nicely.

So, following that mindset, what are my weakness?  Alas, I think they’re probably numerous but there are a few of which I’m particularly conscious.

1)      Kata.

For me the weakness in kata isn’t learning the pattern (I’m usually pretty okay with that – although for some reason Empi is giving me some serious brain ache at the moment). Nor is it the techniques (for the most part I’m okay with those). The weakness in my kata is intensity. Kime ultimately, I guess.  I struggle to put some “umph” in my kata.  I used to be quite  a fiery personality but age and two kids has mellowed me somewhat and I don’t find it easy to put venom in my kata performance. Couple that with the fact that I actually find the rhythm of kata quite soothing and it means my kata tend to look a little laid back. As my Shihan has said to me before… like I’m enjoying it a little too much. Short of getting my fellow karateka to put me in a bad mood before every kata session I’m not quite sure how to deal with this. Visualising my opponent helps some. I think I might just have had a “eureka” moment though so I’ll move onto the next weaknesses and see where that thought leads me.

2)      Kumite.

Ahhhh. Kumite. The bain of my Martial Arts existence. Is it truly weird for someone who loves karate to hate fighting so much? That’s the problem here. I  just. don’t. like. sparring. There, I said it. Shoot me now! Prior to starting karate classes two years ago I had never really intentionally tried to hit anything or anyone (maybe once but I was about 7 so I don’t think that counts). It was a completely alien concept to me and it took me a while to get my head around.  Sparring then, the most difficult element of karate from my point of view, because I don’t really like trying to hit people, and I don’t really love getting hit (who does, really?).  It’s also the worse element for me because I find it really difficult to see any progress in myself in this area. I must be getting better somewhere along the line or I’d be having my arse handed to me by white belts all the time but I just can’t see the progression. Maybe it’s because even after all this time I still feel awkward and clumsy and bumbling when I’m sparring. Kumite is the point in my karate where I’m certain someone is going to come bounding into the dojo and shout “Oi, you with the brown belt (did I mention I made 2^nd Kyu by the way, I can’t remember) you total faker, you should not be here, be off with you, you charlatan”. I feel like I’m going to get “found out” any minute. I’m thinking it might be a clue to the Kata weakness though.  I’m beginning to see a tie in here.

3)      Breathing.

Despite my many protestations in class (usually when my lips have turned blue after a sparring bout or a long kata) that “Breathing is for wimps” I really think I need to start working on this one! How it is possible for someone to forget to breathe? Honestly?  I get so hyper focused on the task at hand that I forget the most intrinsic of bodily functions. Stupid. Dangerous. Not good.  I’ve been trying to work on this with some “Awareness of Breath” techniques but I can’t even get that right. Breathing in for the count of three, hold for three, breathing out for three. Trying to focus just on the breath whilst counting. Who would have thought counting to 10 was so damn hard? I can barely get past 3 before I’m distracted from my breathe by some errant thought or outside distraction. I think there’s definitely a link to this weaknesses and the kata issue too.

Tying all that up then. I’m struggling with kata intensity, kumite and breathing and the “eureka” moment is that maybe all these things are connected. I don’t like sparring so I have difficulty seeing the kata form in terms of a fight scenario. Which means it’s hard to get that fight level intensity in there. When I am sparring or doing kata I focus so much on the techniques that I forget to breathe, which means I can’t get the tension/intensity levels right in the kata techniques and in sparring I’m not getting my brain and muscles fuelled with enough oxygen to be able to think well enough around the fight.

Lots to think about for me in terms of getting out of my comfort zone and getting my karate back on the boil.  Apologies if this is something of a karate brain dump. I haven’t really thought about my karate in such an analytical way for a while and it seems to have all spilled out once I got going!

Food for thought for sure. All this talk of boiling has made me want a brew though …. Off to put the kettle on.

TTFN

Scattered Focus

So, I guess I've been conspicuous by my absence of late. Nearly three months since I've felt the urge to waffle about anything karate related. Its a number of things contributing to the lack of posting and indeed a lack of training (which obviously impacts on what I've got to talk about). The change in routine over the summer break has been a big influence. An extra busy and frustrating period at work another. A million and one little things contributing and leading to a scattering of my focus when it comes to karate.

I'm certain all the big "karate minds" of the world would argue that outside influences and changes in your personal life should not impact on your karate training. In the real world however having a job, a husband, two kids, a sick parent and a messy house that needs cleaning and repairing are going to have an impact on it. Karate training whilst important to me personally is sometimes forced to take a back seat to other concerns.

To be honest, for a long time I didn't let karate come second to these things. Since I started on my karate journey two years ago I pretty much lived and breathed all things karate for most of my time. Part of that is a reflection of my personality I think. I'm definitely one to hyperfocus on a project. It becomes all consuming. The problem with that is you can't keep that intensity up indefinitely. Especially when the other things mentioned earlier start to demand action and attention on your part (as they rightly should). The danger is that you get to the point where you're energy for the project is all used up. I really don't want that to happen with karate.

So, where does that leave you. When you've reached the point when what was total hyperfocus is now scattered. It's hard to pull back all those strands of thought into a place of focus again. Especially hard to balance pulling them back in just the right amount  - to make sure you don't get to the hyperfocused point, but to allow enough focus to be able to progress.

A balancing act then. That's where I'm at. It feels little like things are conspiring against my training schedule at the moment, but I also know that part of that is because I don't have focus and I need to regain the incentive to make time for karate. I'm trying not to feel like the guy in the drawing up there. Pushing the rest of my life up a big hill in an attempt to get to the dojo!

Sunday this week will be the start of getting back into usual routines. The kids are back at school on Monday (my little boy starting primary school.... how'd that happen?) so hopefully that will help with getting my focus back on track. I have brown belt (2nd kyu) grading looming in my future and for that I really do need to have my head in the karate game.

Be back soon. Hopefully!

TTF

Do You Want To Be A Black Belt?

Following bow out at the senior classes Shihan usually takes a little time to give out any notices about upcoming events, to comment on how he thinks the class went and to generally talk about any points he feels need to be raised.


Recently one of this chats turned to higher gradings and what’s expected of people once they reach that level. Shihan went on to mention that once me and the other highest grade in the club (Louise) had reached 1st Kyu (hopefully by the end of the year) he would be talking to us both and asking us if we wanted to consider beginning the process to grade for black belt.

Wow. That gave me some serious pause of thought.

My initial response was “Why would he even need to ask that?” The more I thought about it though the more it made sense that he would ask. Agreeing to start Black Belt training is obviously a big commitment…but not only for the student. It’s a big commitment from the instructor team aswell. It’s additional training (black belt specific) every week. It’s a great amount of stuff in the syllabus to be covered. It’s help with research, with presentations, with overall fitness and endurance (as well as karate fitness), help with mental preparation for the grading. Any of you who’ve been reading Sue’s blog about her upcoming Shodan test will know what kind of commitment is required from students preparing to grade so thinking about that level of requirement and the amount of time and effort you’re asking the instructors to invest in you as a student then its easier to see why the question would be posed.

So then. Do I want to train for Black Belt?

Big question.

Immediately the answer for me is YES.

Then the brain checked into the argument.

Am I doing myself and my instructors a disservice if I answer “Yes” without giving it some serious thought? I think probably ….yes.

So another question raised then. WHY do you want to train for Black Belt? Maybe the more important question, and definitely one which requires some serious soul-searching.

Firstly, I have to say that the very act of even being in a situation to be asked to this question still occasionally baffles me! It’s strange for me to think that 2 years ago I had no interest in martial arts whatsoever. I do still sometimes think someone is going to come in and declare it’s all a big mistake and I can’t possibly have my purple belt and take it back! LOL. Yet despite the occasional mental wobble here I am, knocking on the door of 2nd kyu and giving this whole black belt thing some serious consideration.

Why? Why do I want to be a black belt?

Clearly it can be seen as a logical progression. You work hard up through your Kyu rankings. Gaining knowledge. Building on the foundations of what you’ve learnt. Expanding your experience. It’s a long road to travel and being a journey it must be perceived to have some sort of final destination. So, is that it? Is it the final destination, the ultimate achievement of ones journey? The end of the road?

Well, no. I don’t believe that at all. From all I’ve come to learn over the past two years Black Belt to me seems the very opposite of that. It’s not the end at all. It’s the beginning. It’s the START of a martial arts journey.

It’s “I’ve read and understood the handbook”.
It’s “I’ve passed the driving test”.
It’s “I’ve achieved my qualification, now give me a job!” ;)

It’s the beginning of being able to really explore karate with the solid foundation you need to understand it. So that’s part of the reason. I can begin to see the start line lingering on the horizon. I want to make it there so I can move on with the big karate journey I’ve begun.

Now I’m going to back track a little. I’ve said Black Belt is only the beginning and that’s true. However, that’s not to say that Black Belt in and of itself isn’t a momentous achievement. It is. Probably one of the greatest of your life I imagine. When I think of how far I’ve come in the last few years I’m continually amazed at the things I can accomplish. I was a smoking, drinking, junk food eating couch potato. No doubt about it. What began with a little 8 week run/walk programme has completely changed the way I look, the way I eat, the way I live and my outlook on fitness and on life. Discovering karate has opened a whole new world of interests to me. It’s given me an awareness of self that I didn’t have, it’s made me think about my morals, my beliefs, how I treat other people, what my part in the world is. The journey this far has been astounding compared to what I thought I could ever achieve. To get to Black belt…. well….. it will certainly be something I never thought I would say I’d accomplished.

That’s not all though. There’s another element which spurs me on in pursuit of this goal. Another thing I never thought I’d see myself doing with my life. The most surprising thing that has come out of my karate journey so far is discovering that I like to teach. As a child I never harboured the “I want to be a teacher” dream. I would say I’m quite impatient by nature and I always thought I didn’t transmit information well to others. Maybe it’s my age that is the different factor now. Maybe it’s being a mother that makes it easier somehow? I don’t know. All I know is that I LOVE assisting with the junior classes. I love teaching these kids. Being able to pass on what I know. Watching that moment when it clicks with them. Struggling through those moments when it won’t click with them (oh how I know how they feel then!). So that’s something else achieving Black Belt will bring for me. It will mean I can teach. I can impart all this amazing knowledge I’ve learnt to others. I can share the karate love :D

That’s not to say that I think obtaining a Black Belt automatically means you can teach, on the contrary. I’m pretty certain not very Black Belt could or should be an instructor. I’m lucky enough that running along side my Black Belt training programme will be an Instructor training programme. Building in all the elements I’ll need to be able to take that step from Sempai to Sensei. Scary…. but uber-exciting.

A round up then.

Why do I want to train for Black Belt?

I want to pass my driving test (please God don’t let it take me as long as it did to pass my actual driving test!! Don’t ask!), I want to reach the starting line. I want to REALLY being my martial arts journey with all the tools I need firmly under my belt. I want to have that sense of achievement making it that far will feel. To be able to say to people, “Hey… I did it… you can too”. To show that you’re never too old, or too fat, or too unfit. With hard work and dedication you can get there. I want to be able to take the great gift I’ve received from my karate mentors and share it with others, so they can learn to love it as much as I do.

It’s a little while down the road for me yet, but I wanted to put this out there. I think it’ll be interesting to see if I still feel the same when I get to the point of committing to Black Belt training for real.

Shihan – if you’re reading, I guess you know my answer (for now). I can’t see it changing….unless you break me at 1st Kyu grading…. I might see things differently if that happens ;)

TTFN